


Heart to heart

by MayuTheCookie



Series: Misadventures in Skyrim [9]
Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: College of Winterhold - Freeform, F/M, Heartache
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 23:33:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5517236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayuTheCookie/pseuds/MayuTheCookie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I decided to keep Ancano alive, and my dearest darling said goodbye to him. Thank God for J'zargo and the gang.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart to heart

Ancano was alive. They didn't know why the Psijic order decided to revive him, nor did they care. Ellisabeth sat inside her new quarters, J'zargo on the other chair, massaging her hand. They became fast friends, she and the Khajiit, even if he could be quite a handful once in a while. And arrogant, Divines knew _how_ arrogant J'zargo could be. She couldn't face Ancano, not because of what happened with them, but because he killed the previous Archmage and gave her this job. To add to the injury, he couldn't remember her clearly, only bits and pieces that the Order thought were important enough.

' _He doesn't even remember the night we had together... I hope.'_ , she lamented, one hand pressed against her face, shielding her eyes, and the other still being held by J'zargo.

"This one thinks you should do whatever you wish in this situation, Arch-mage."

Ellie smiled a sad little smile and squeezed his hand in return. "His mind was altered to believe that nothing happened. I have half the mind to write to the Embassy so... Oh. Master Ancano." J'zargo stood up when Ellie mentioned the Altmer and excused himself, hissing at Ancano. Ancano didn't even raise his golden brows at this, he just kept looking at Ellie as if she was the only thing in the whole room.

"Arch-Mage." Was the only phase he uttered before he marched to her, frenzy in his eyes. She didn't know how to react when he gasped her hands in his, frenzy replaced by worry.

"What happened exactly, and do not think you can fool me!" He nearly shouted but held himself at bay. There were eyes and ears everywhere, and even now she could feel that J'zargo had not left entirely, but was standing by the door, awaiting his chance to strike him, if necessary.

"What do you remember, Master Ancano?" Ellie asked him gently, slowly removing his arms from her and motioning for him to sit down on the chair nearby. He hurried into that chair, sat down and began fidgeting. ' _What in Oblivion did they put inside his head?_ ' She wondered, since the moment she sat down he grasped her hands in his and began looking around.

"I remember you. You were the first one to tell me I am not just _some_ High Elf, and you understood when I told you I'm a Thalmor officer. I knew I could trust you with the information I gathered, about the state of this place and whatnot. But then... then it gets confusing."

' _This monologue was confusing enough_ ', Ellie though but waited for him to elaborate. This was breaking her heart, seeing him so weak. ' _What if everything before was just a mask, and he finally feels like he could be open with me? What if that whole night we had... no, I shouldn't think about that_ ,' subtly, she began tracing her thumb on his hands as if to calm him down.

"How confusing, Ancano?"

He dodged her eyes then, his head sunk low. "It feels wrong to even say it. I remember being cold, oh so cold and powerful, but then I see your eyes and everything fades to black and I- "

"Shh, it's alright." She moved her hands to his face then, holding him gently. He seemed confused but his eyes showed that he appreciated the gesture.

"Were we... close?" Ancano suddenly asked her, after the long silence. The mage didn't know what to tell him. If she told him the truth, there might be a chance that he would remember everything, even the fact that he killed the Arch-mage. And she didn't want that. On the other hand, she missed him. She wouldn't call what they had 'love' but she missed it just the same. The companionship, the comfortable silence, even the subtle touches. But this Ancano wasn't hers. He never was hers. She became sad again, remembering Vilkas. Suddenly she didn't feel the need to tell Ancano everything so she just uttered: "We were best friends Ancano. You used to tell me that you were to marry Elenwen but you weren't very keen about the idea- "

His sudden laugh surprised her, but pleased her nonetheless. By the look of surprise on her face, he calmed down a little. "How could I marry my sister?" Her eyes widened and her heart clenched. ' _So, you just used me?_ ' She felt sick in her stomach but smiled nonetheless. "See? I knew you remembered something!" She told him then and laughed.

"Still, I think it's best for you to leave Winterhold Ancano."

He became still for a moment, not understanding her. "What? Why?" He then got out, still watching her.

"We do not know what damage was exactly done and now that your memories are, well, like this, I wouldn't want to hurt you even more. And you did mention that you wished to return to your homeland." ' _With me_ ', she added in her mind but didn't say it. He appeared to be thinking for a moment, then exhaled softly.

"You are right of course. But I have work here, I can't just abandon it because of a minor setback." He spoke in his cold, harsh voice again, as if he was fighting against himself. Ellie decided to fuel the flames.

"You know what we were talking about before, yes? You remember how I told you that the College will stay neutral. We will not take any side Ancano, be it Imperial or Stormcloak one. We are a neutral territory, surely you remember that?"

He looked surprised, then he clenched his hands. ' _He's trying to remember a conversation that never happened. Good._ ' Ellie thought and stood up. "I will write a letter immediately, or you can pack your bags and I'll call for a carriage- " "No need." He said. The elf stood up too, and after he looked around, checking if anyone else was in the room, he hugged her close.

It was the most painful hug she ever received, but it wasn't because he was squeezing her too much. She knew she lost him, and the chance to fall in love again, even if he was an arrogant fool.

"Summerset islands are beautiful, I hope I can show them to you sometime, Ellisabeth." He spoke her name as a caress, and she exhaled. So here they were, standing in the middle of her quarters, holding each other as if their lives were depending on it, he hid his face into the crook of her neck and she was breathing in his smell. Citruses and smoke, with a bit of something she couldn't place. Ellie stood on her tiptoes, since Ancano was quite a lot taller than she was, and softly stroked his back. He seemed to calm down a little, still holding her close to him and just breathing slowly.

"Should I call for a carriage, Ancano?" She asked him in hushed whispers when she saw J'zargo in the corner of her eye. She winked at him and he hid himself behind the wall, not leaving her for a moment. ' _Some khajiit he is, watching me like a hawk.'_ When she couldn't see him anymore and Ancano calmed down a little, she let him go from her arms. He seemed thoughtful for a moment and then he spoke again: "Will you answer one last question for me, before I go?"

Ellie nodded and hoped that he won't ask her to allow him to stay in Winterhold. "Ask me anything." She told him and smiled encouragingly. He then looked into her eyes and after a long inhale he asked: "Will you come with me?" She looked at him, surprised by this admission. "C-come with you?" ' _Why? What does it matter if I come or no?_ ' She wondered, waiting for him to explain. Her new pets, two torchbugs, were flying around as if sensing her discomfort. Ancano was looking at her differently, watching her every move.

"You know I can't come with you. I'm the arch-mage here, I can't just- "

"Let Tolfdir do the job then, you know he would be- "

"Archmage!"

Both turned around to find Brelyna looking dishevelled. Behind her, two Thalmor officers were standing, one of them holding some kind of a letter. Ellie, ignoring the stunned Ancano, went to retrieve the letter. She quickly read it, and saw a twinkle in the eye of one of the soldiers. _'Thank the Gods,_ ' she calmed down, _'I was worried that he wouldn't leave without me.'_

"It seems like Elenwen want's you to leave too Ancano. You are to return home." Ellie spoke, hoping that her voice would hide her true feelings about the matter. Ancano changed back into his professional face, cold mask in place.

"I see. Very well then, fare you well, Mistress Archmage." She nodded his head towards him, hear heart beating in her throat. The moment they left, she released a loud exhale. Brelyna was looking at her with a sad expression. "I take it you wish to drink some wine? Or ten?" Ellie laughed, the laughter slowly turning into something else. And when the first teardrops ran down her face, Brelyna hugged her, and J'zargo and Onmund stood close too.

"It will be fine Ellie, it will."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this crap~ Hope you have a great day~!


End file.
